Monday, July 16, 2012
You get what you need
I have been away for some time as you have undoubtedly noticed. I’m sure it has kept you up at night and for that I am deeply sorry. Aside from the obvious apology, I feel I owe some sort of an explanation for my absence from the world wide interweb.
This year has been particularly rough from an exercise standpoint. It has been one injury after another and a desperate attempt to build some meager amount of fitness week after week. I have had weeks of solid training but in endurance sports consistency is king and the only thing that has been consistent is the injuries.
This actually took quite a toll on me emotionally as I would go through highs and lows way more often than to which I was accustomed. That’s the reason for the absence. As the old adage goes- if you don’t have anything nice to say, stop blogging and wallow in your own self-pity.
Because of the constant setbacks, this year has forced me to do a broad analysis of the WHY of triathlon. I love endurance activities to a degree that I can’t explain. It is sort of like the juice in my battery as a human being. Not necessarily triathlon or racing but long sustained movement through different places is what makes me happy. Things going awry is sort of like short circuiting my system. I feel lost.
Now on to the deeper stuff:
Looking in the mirror though is also a major component of why I like this pursuit. Self-evaluation and accountability are things that I really value and nothing exposes your core, cowardice, and ugliness quite like endurance sport. I like that especially on a discrete unit level of one race or one workout. This year has definitely brought a new perspective on looking in the mirror, as it is SO much broader. It put me back in touch with certain key realizations and sort of developed my spirituality.
1. The gift of being able to do this sort of thing is not mine or any individual’s but rather something precious from God. Nothing we have done entitles us to enjoy these activities. It’s easy to forget and to not give credit or honor back is something that comes more naturally than I care to admit. Obviously, this year I realized that I had been doing just that and taking the gift for granted. Gratitude is vital and that extends beyond sport, duh.
2. Self-reliance is arrogant, stupid, and a waste of time. Again- very easy for me to fall into a pattern of self-reliant behavior. Breaking the cycle is key and I’ve found that putting my faith in God has freed me to enjoy the sport again. God doesn’t necessarily give you what you want but rather what you need and there is peace in that.
Anyways, that’s my year in a nutshell. More to come at some point