You get what you need
Dear Bloggers,
I have been away for some time as you have undoubtedly
noticed. I’m sure it has kept you
up at night and for that I am deeply sorry. Aside from the obvious apology, I feel I owe some sort of an
explanation for my absence from the world wide interweb.
This year has been particularly rough from an exercise
standpoint. It has been one injury
after another and a desperate attempt to build some meager amount of fitness
week after week. I have had weeks
of solid training but in endurance sports consistency is king and the only
thing that has been consistent is the injuries.
This actually took quite a toll on me emotionally as I would
go through highs and lows way more often than to which I was accustomed. That’s the reason for the absence. As the old adage goes- if you don’t
have anything nice to say, stop blogging and wallow in your own self-pity.
Because of the constant setbacks, this year has forced me to
do a broad analysis of the WHY of triathlon. I love endurance activities to a
degree that I can’t explain. It is
sort of like the juice in my battery as a human being. Not necessarily
triathlon or racing but long sustained movement through different places is what
makes me happy. Things going awry
is sort of like short circuiting my system. I feel lost.
Now on to the deeper stuff:
Looking in the mirror though is also a major component of
why I like this pursuit. Self-evaluation and accountability are things that I
really value and nothing exposes your core, cowardice, and ugliness quite like
endurance sport. I like that especially on a discrete unit level of one race or
one workout. This year has
definitely brought a new perspective on looking in the mirror, as it is SO much
broader. It put me back in touch with certain key realizations and sort of
developed my spirituality.
1.
The gift of being able to do this sort of thing
is not mine or any individual’s but rather something precious from God. Nothing
we have done entitles us to enjoy these activities. It’s easy to forget and to
not give credit or honor back is something that comes more naturally than I
care to admit. Obviously, this
year I realized that I had been doing just that and taking the gift for granted.
Gratitude is vital and that extends beyond sport, duh.
2.
Self-reliance is arrogant, stupid, and a waste
of time. Again- very easy for me to
fall into a pattern of self-reliant behavior. Breaking the cycle is key and I’ve found that putting my
faith in God has freed me to enjoy the sport again. God doesn’t necessarily
give you what you want but rather what you need and there is peace in
that.
Anyways, that’s my year in a nutshell. More to come at some point
3 comments:
Gratitude has always been one of your most charming attributes. That, and perseverance...and loyalty...and compassion. You've got a lot going on, and while this has been a tough tri year, maybe you're right that it's not the only gift you've got going.
"Self-evaluation and accountability are things that I really value and nothing exposes your core, cowardice, and ugliness quite like endurance sport. I like that especially on a discrete unit level of one race or one workout." So true. But JP, don't forget that not only does endurance sport reveal the ugliness, it also reveals other dimensions of our humanity. But I think you hit on the key - those kind of discoveries are rarely made in a spirit of arrogance. Love you.
Well said, my little sage!
(Or very very tall sage.)
Anyway, I can't agree enough. I've had lots of time to think lately due to my injury and I'm with ya.
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