Friday, May 22, 2009

pretty cool update

I met/ rode with/ had coffee with Chris Mccormack! You probably know him as the king of all things cool, interesting, and triathlon related. You may have been excited when he shook your hand or took a drink out of your waterbottle (this was me at New Orleans 70.3). Well he's a person too, apparently. A nice person who does a better job promoting starbucks coffee than under armour.

This was a cool start to a Wednesday. It was also funny to realize what a microcosm triathlon really is. I kind of felt like I was sitting with the president. Then I realized no one knew who he was outside of triathlon. I tried to relay this event to others and I got a ton of "who's that" and a couple "does he do triathlons too?" and several "I don't cares". People also questioned me for being so... I think the term was "dandy" about this guy.

I have never been star struck before (saw matthew mccaunehey running at a secluded beach and didn't give a flip) and finally when I am, apparently no one else realizes how cool this is.

Whatever... I also saw the Jimmy Kimmel show. What's that, world?? You care about JIMMY KIMMEL?!
Your idol is my BFF!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Mad Lib


This _WEEK_ has been _PLUMP_ with _ACTIVITIES_

I _RACED_ on Saturday. However when it came time to _REGISTER_ I decided that was _RUBISH_. I arrived at the 4 mile trail run and _WADDLED_ around the starting line. I started about 30 seconds after the runners had gone by and sprinted the first mile to cut the lead to about 10 seconds. The trail went straight up for 3/4 of a mile and I caught all but one guy who kept me at about 8-10 seconds to the top of the hill. The next mile was all _DOWN HILL_ and I ran absolutely _BONKERS_ to catch that _CHORIZO_. I caught him about halfway down and sat on his back, breathing heavily on the nape of his neck (creepy?). With about 800 m to go I pushed it and _DROPPED HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT_. I walked off to the side about 200m from the line and he realized I was a bandit. He yelled in his thick european accent, "you pushed me and you weren't even in the race?!" The 2nd and 3rd place guys asked if I was ok as I was walking and I said I'm fine. They looked at me and muttered, "oh he's banditing". I was _HORRIBLY ASHAMED_. I ran off like a _GUILTY COWARD_ so as not to feel the wrath of anyone else.

First experience banditing a race... felt _GUILTY_ the whole way. Probably the way _HAMBURGLER_ feels every day of his _ MISERABLE _ existence.

Either way, I have never won a race before and I didn't really but I would have! I was starting the think I was the proverbial Jan Ullrich ( sans addiction to ecstacy and bacon fat) or Phil Michelson (man boobs not included) as I have about four 2nd place finishes and two 3rds.
There is a term in german... schweine-hunt. It means piggy dog. Let's just say this was an affectionate nickname for Jan's love of the good life and over indulgence in schnitzels.

Looks like it was a chilly day on the links.

PHIL- (noun) choke artist and majority share holder in Krispy Kreme

It has been _UNBEARABLE_ to write to you again. I hope to _BURN MY ARM HAIR_ in the near future. I have been having _GASTROINTESTINAL ISSUES_ which is why I haven't written in a while. _SEE YOU SOON_


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Guess who's back like a bra strap or a street boy

Pink Tank Top? Now you're speaking my language!

I can run again! After 2 months of no running, I have run the last two days for 30 min a pop. I didn't realize how much I missed it. Biking and swimming don't have the same feeling for me. I couldn't pin point what it was until I heard someone desribe it perfectly. They said running makes me feel clean. That is exactly it and I have been gunked up for the last 2 months. Let the cleansing begin.

Also, It is 90 degrees here. Being a hulking monster, I usually buckle in heat. I am going to try to turn myself into a camel by running at noon.

My run has been a huge liability while racing over the last two months. The melon knee has caused one dnf, one hobbled 1/2 marathon, and the lack of running has led to two mollases slow 10k's.

This obese cat has put together faster run splits than I have

Hopefully, the return to running will lead to a return to the form that I need to race properly.

Soon I will be racing like a sleek weasel.

Run for fun, bros. Being outside is sweet and sweating is too. Enjoy it, because not many people can or choose to do it.