Thursday, March 8, 2012

Charles Barkley

I am one week in and I am quickly realizing how much work needs to be done. The first 7 or so workouts have been banked and they have had some serious stank to them. It's kind of exciting being this out of shape. It has been a while and it has lit a fire under my behind. I talked to my buddy affectionately known as Larry Legend for his feathery hair and incredible Birdlike performances. He is planning on whipping my ass into shape and taunted me by calling me Shaq. How wrong he was... Right now I am Charles Barkley on a pizza bender.
How does that taste, Chuck? Like shame?

The thing about Sir Charles is he could turn ugly very quickly. That's what I'm about to do. I am about to do work in the paint. CHARLES UNLEASHED.


Things are about to get turrible around here really quick... well actually, it is going to take a considerable amount of time. But you get it.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Starting from scratch

My wrist has finally healed and I am out of the cast just in time for my hamstring injury to properly stop my leg related exercising. Despite the annoyance of not being able to do my thang thang, I had to get back into swimming anyway. So since I couldn’t do any of the fun sports, I got into the pool. The swimming came back faster than usual which I am hoping goes for biking and running.

I am also taking out my frustration on medicine balls. Slams are the best release ever for the injured athlete. Throwing a ball as hard as you can over and over is the best. Outside of the pure anger of the motion, the best part is the dull unrewarding thud of the ball. There is no glory in slams… only the next slam. I have destroyed 3 medicine balls slamming them too hard which has been gratifying hassle for the sporting goods store. Balling also has been quite effective and, as a result, my core is stronger than usual. I look like pink, but I am way taller, a better singer, and a man.

My roommate, Becky, is a PT and has been scraping my hamstring. It’s an unpleasant process but speeds the healing. I started jogging lightly 3 days ago and I realized I literally have zero fitness. I feel like a combination of Cartman and porky pig. I am definitely behind the eight ball for this season, but it will be a long one and I will come back like the furious pigly thing that I am. Get ready for this swine to Ball OUT full force. More blogging to come as things are on the up on and up.

That's all folks.