Saturday, May 16, 2009

Mad Lib


This _WEEK_ has been _PLUMP_ with _ACTIVITIES_

I _RACED_ on Saturday. However when it came time to _REGISTER_ I decided that was _RUBISH_. I arrived at the 4 mile trail run and _WADDLED_ around the starting line. I started about 30 seconds after the runners had gone by and sprinted the first mile to cut the lead to about 10 seconds. The trail went straight up for 3/4 of a mile and I caught all but one guy who kept me at about 8-10 seconds to the top of the hill. The next mile was all _DOWN HILL_ and I ran absolutely _BONKERS_ to catch that _CHORIZO_. I caught him about halfway down and sat on his back, breathing heavily on the nape of his neck (creepy?). With about 800 m to go I pushed it and _DROPPED HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT_. I walked off to the side about 200m from the line and he realized I was a bandit. He yelled in his thick european accent, "you pushed me and you weren't even in the race?!" The 2nd and 3rd place guys asked if I was ok as I was walking and I said I'm fine. They looked at me and muttered, "oh he's banditing". I was _HORRIBLY ASHAMED_. I ran off like a _GUILTY COWARD_ so as not to feel the wrath of anyone else.

First experience banditing a race... felt _GUILTY_ the whole way. Probably the way _HAMBURGLER_ feels every day of his _ MISERABLE _ existence.

Either way, I have never won a race before and I didn't really but I would have! I was starting the think I was the proverbial Jan Ullrich ( sans addiction to ecstacy and bacon fat) or Phil Michelson (man boobs not included) as I have about four 2nd place finishes and two 3rds.
There is a term in german... schweine-hunt. It means piggy dog. Let's just say this was an affectionate nickname for Jan's love of the good life and over indulgence in schnitzels.

Looks like it was a chilly day on the links.

PHIL- (noun) choke artist and majority share holder in Krispy Kreme

It has been _UNBEARABLE_ to write to you again. I hope to _BURN MY ARM HAIR_ in the near future. I have been having _GASTROINTESTINAL ISSUES_ which is why I haven't written in a while. _SEE YOU SOON_


No comments: