Flapjacks etc

We woke to a full Scottish breakfast which is really a special thing.

· Porridge with heavy cream and golden syrup

· Thick Bacon (like a combo of our bacon mixed with Canadian bacon)

· Mushrooms (Sautéed in garlic)

· Two stewed tomatoes

· Scrambled Eggs with loads of cream

· Toast

· Strong Coffee

Mushrooms for breakfast sounds a bit odd but it is amazing. I am converted and I think I will be bringing that back with me..

We thought we had an easy day of riding on tap as we were riding 24 miles from Killin to Callander. No rain to start off with but 1 mile in we were in the biggest downpour of the trip on single track with mud splattering everywhere. It was awesome. A mile of dryness was enough to warm us up before the onslaught of cold rain so we were fine. We made our way up a very steep 4-mile climb. It felt like we were going backwards but we finally hit the top.

We were then treated to the most phenomenal road I have ever ridden. This is super dorky but it was like riding through the scene in Harry Potter where they are riding on the Hogwarts Express across a massive arched stone bridge. It was halfway up a mountain overlooking an enormous valley with a river running down the center. A Loch was in the distance with mountains on either side. We were blasting down a dirt road surrounded by mossy stones and lush greenery. It was so green it would have made Hulk jealous. Parts were completely exposed and we could see everything. All I have to say is God is good.

After the best road in the world we hit some hairpin switchbacks…these are tough on roadbikes and hellishly dangerous on a tandem. It was a super technical day, mostly off-road and quite rainy in points. The rain kicked up tons of mud and by the time we rolled into Callander, we looked like two hogs covered in slop. Caitlin was in a good mood and sang ‘tryin to catch me ridin dirty’ for miles which, as you can imagine, was a delight. Also when we would hit bumps or come upon little ramps in the road, she would insist on hitting them at top speed and scream “air, air, air!” Getting a tandem to lift off or catch air is completely reckless so I disregarded her jabbering, which she made quite difficult to do.

Once we arrived in Callander we feasted on steak pies and headed off for ice cream and flapjacks. Flapjacks are basically granola bars with 15 times the butter. They are the most delicious little snacks in the world and I am becoming quite picky about my flapjacks. I hunt for them wherever I go and through experimentation I have found that my flapjacks must meet the following criteria:

· Use margarine over normal butter- margarine provides a chewier and moister consistency and butter’s flavor clashes with the sweetness of the golden syrup

· Golden syrup instead of brown sugar- you American swine wouldn’t understand. You’re probably thinking, “Golden syrup? Is that some special seasonal variant of Aunt Jemimah?? LOL!!!!!” No you idiot and stop laughing out loud. Nothing is funny. Golden syrup is the nectar of Gods and has nothing to do with that brown syrupy bilge water you are trying to pass off as a breakfast staple.

· Rolled oats must be pressed together to achieve super dense status. It better not crumble. My flapjacks MUST be neither dry nor crumbly. If I wanted a bullshit granola bar, I would have got one. Nothing is worse than being duped into thinking you are about to indulge in the world’s tastiest snack only to find yourself with a mouthful of dehydrated bat guano and oats that Quaker calls a snack.