Tuesday, August 11, 2009

THUG is just one letter more than HUG :)

I am about to smack you in the face with some real talk so sit down and callate.

Here is what happened to me recently that is funny to me. We'll see if it cuts the mustard and is interesting to you too.

  • First things first... I traveled to a place called Las Terrenas (mass white sand beaches and thieves and junk) with 2 friends and Caitlin
  • We spent the wknd on the beach and Caitlin almost got robbed which was funny.
  • I found a knife and hunted coconuts (I learned to climb palm trees and which ones were ripe and effective ways to gut the cocos) I was like Tom Hanks in that boring movie where he talks to that volleyball the whole time.
  • We stayed in a Mansion for some reason ( friend of a friend of a friend lives there) for 15 dollars a night
  • When I was climbing one of the many palms, I failed to notice a wire that was hooked to a light and I got electrocuted BIG TIME. I got shocked off the tree when I was halfway up. It also caused my arm to pink up like a salmon steak. It was hilarious and I felt like a stupid dog running into an electrical fence. Life lessons.
  • I might have gotten a job as a permasubsitute teacher at an english school. THUG LIFE!
  • I also found out where the triathlon federation de dominicana is located and they will be visited shortly by a certain bear that everyone knows and few bearly tolerate (PUN).

Love you and post comments if you think this was cool or really boring (be harsh because I want this blog to be all killer and no filler like the opposite of a limp bizkit album or something)

Fred Durst out.


Caitlin said...

Thug is two letters away from pug, which inspired a previous blog I think. Also funny stories from your father.

Anonymous said...

yeah ok. have you ever listened to a limp bizkit album from start to finish in one sitting?

i got 7 words for you and one hyphen:

Chocolate Starfish in the Hot-Dog Flavored Water.

this is art. this is the song of angels. this is the mating call of the two most beautiful and gallant unicorns in the history of the entire universe. calling then colliding and meeting and mating somewhere out in space beyond saturn to a constant call:

'for all of the ladies in the cave to get your groove on
and maybe i'm the one who flew over the cuckoos nest, well guess
who's next: generation x, gener-ation strange, sun don't even shine
through our window pane so go ahead and talk s__t talk s__t'

next time you want to insult fred durst, whether frankly, ironically, or post-ironically, think about the implications of your words. you might as well spit on an original picasso.

the da vinci code?
the durst code.
it's 2 kids, in a church, in scotland. wearing backwards yankee caps.

Anonymous said...

look man, i blew up and i feel pretty bad about it.

down low.

Anonymous said...

but seriously, don't make any cracks about limp bizkit in your blog anymore.